1, 2, 3...1, 2, 3...

Your favorite blogger has a new hobby.

I'm as surprised as you are.

As you may recall, one of my goals for 2019 is to do more things that fill my cup.  It turns out that ballroom dancing is one of those things.

I've never been a dancer--think stereotypical white guy moves and a few Fortnite dances I bust out when I start to lose my students' attention--but the idea of taking dance lessons has been rolling around in my brain for a while now. I've gone ballroom dancing once or twice before with friends, and I've always had fun. But it just seemed like one of those things that you need someone else to do with you.

But you know what? I'm not waiting on someone else.

My philosophy since my big Europe trip has been "Screw it, I'm doing what I want, even if it means I'm doing it alone," and it's worked out pretty well for me. I mean, if I waited on other people to do things with me, I wouldn't have gone to Italy, I wouldn't have gone skydiving...who knows what else I might miss out on if I'm waiting on someone else?

So I went and signed myself up for dance lessons.

And you know what? It's fun, dammit!

So far, I've learned the basic steps for about 10 different dances, as well as some turns. I've followed a lot of more complicated moves that my dance partners have led me through as well, which I'm rather proud of. [insert nonchalant hair flip here]

Everyone keeps asking me how long I've been dancing, and they don't believe that I never took lessons before last month. Which is a nice little ego boost for me, but it's also helped me figure out more about myself and how I learn. 

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a formulaic learner; I don't learn very well when someone tries to explain the steps to me and count them out. I need to see them and just follow along until I get the hang of it. 

My brain seems to do better when it observes and figures out the rules and patterns for itself, rather than having the rules explained to me and then trying to fit things in to those patterns. (Which is probably why I struggled so much with math in school; they'd give me the theorems and say, "Now go use them.") 

But actually.

When they start counting out the steps out in the group dance lessons, it tends to throw me off; I just need to see the step and how it fits into the music, then go. Ditto for the more complicated moves: as long as I know what it should look like, I can usually follow it.

I think that's probably how I learned how to write, too: I read a lot of books (good ones and not-so-good ones), subconsciously taking notes on what to do and what not to do as a writer, and then trying my hand at it. 

Come to think of it, that's how I learned how to do the brakes on my car, too. Couldn't learn that from a book...had to watch my dad and then do what he did. (Thanks, dad!) 

All that to say: it only took me 18 years as a student and 2 as a teacher to figure out the best way for me to learn. #betterlatethannever

Anywho, this dancing fool will be looking to take her skills out for a spin soon. 

All I'm missing is Patrick Swayze.

(May or may not have watched this movie before writing this post.)

Catch me on the dance floor, yo.

Things I Left in 2018

If you read my New Year's Not-Resolutions post, you know that one of my big goals for 2019 is to do more things that "fill my cup."

My metaphorical cup is a cup of coffee, obvs.

In plain English, this means doing more things that make me feel fulfilled. Things like skydiving and reading and rock climbing and traveling, for example.

Something just as important as filling my cup is minimizing the "drains on my cup." This is different from "pouring from my cup," AKA giving (which I want to do more of). Things that drain my cup are my stressors, which empty my cup before I have a chance to pour from it.

In order for me to let in all the good stuff that 2019 has in store for me, I need to let go of some ish that has held me back in previous years.

So without further ado, here is a list of things that I'm leaving in 2018:

1. Beating myself up over things I can't change. I'm not the most socially adept individual, and I'm often haunted by things that I say or do that I realize were awkward/uncomfortable/wrong. They replay in my brain, a sort of low-lights reel of my real (and imagined) faux pas. Bigger things also haunt me, like times that I've hurt people (whether I meant to or not) and bad decisions that I've made, knowing even as I made them that I would regret it. Memories of these moments swirl around in my brain even years after the fact, and they'll consume me if I let them. I can't go back in time and change what I said or did. And even if I could, I wouldn't. Those moments helped shape me into who I am today. But I'm done being held hostage by them. When these thoughts begin to invade, I've begun taking a deep inhale and letting the thoughts sit for just a moment, and then as I exhale, I consciously think (or say aloud) one of two things. For the little things, it's "Let that shit go." And for the big ones: "I forgive me." And then I move on.  

2. Making excuses for myself. Self-love is so so important. I have to take care of me before I can take care of anybody else. Sometimes self-love for me is realizing that I'm so completely burned out by my workday that I just need to go home and relax with some Doritos and a book. Other times my self-love looks more like tough love, because yes, I'm tired at the end of my long hard school day, but this is the kind of tired that is best remedied by a good solid sweat sesh, so I'm going to make myself go to the gym anyway. I'm holding myself accountable for doing what I truly need to do, and a huge part of that is not letting myself make excuses to get out of it. I've realized that no one else is going to call me out on my bullshit; it's up to me to do that.  

3. Defeatist mentality. This world is an effed up place with a capital F. (I think we can all agree on that.) But when I let myself dwell on that reality, I get overwhelmed by a crippling feeling of "What's the point in trying? I can't make a difference with all that's wrong in the world." That's bullshit, and I'm calling myself on it. The small amount of difference that I am able to make will compound with all of the small differences that other people are making and create a big difference. I have to consciously try to see the positivity and the hope that exist in this world alongside and in spite of all the shit. 

4. People who don't value/respect me. People who don't respect me and my worth make me question my own value and doubt myself. Ain't nobody got time for that.

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

5. People who bring out the worst in me. (This kind of goes with #4.) I'm on a quest to become a better version of myself, and being around certain people makes it too easy to slip into old habits (or new bad habits). It's not necessarily their fault, but--hard as it may be--I need to say goodbye to those people in order to continue growing. I need to surround myself with people who want to see me become my best self, and who encourage me to do so. 

None of this comes easily, but it's especially hard for me to cut ties with the people that I mentioned in #4 and #5 because most of the time, they are people whom I at one time wanted in my life; they have been important to me. Many of the people who are no longer "good for me" were once good friends, and since I'm not very good at making friends to begin with, I think that I probably held on to some of those people longer than I should have out of fear of being lonely.

But ya know what? It's time. I've got to make space for all the awesome people coming to me in 2019. (Including Jess 2.0!)

To each and every one of the people I'm saying goodbye to: thank you for coming into my life, and for the part you have played in making me the person who I am today. I wish you all the best--I truly mean that. If I see ya around, I'll still have a smile for ya. 😉

And hey, a sincere and heartfelt thank you to those of you in my life who do inspire and encourage me to be a better version of myself. You know who you are. (Or I'll tell ya soon enough. 😘)

I'm a work in progress...sometimes I find the things that I said "good riddance" to at the end of 2018 trying to creep into 2019. So I just keep reminding myself...

Let that shit go. 

#mantra2019

($1.25 in the swear jar, if you're keeping track at home.) 

New Year, New Words

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not the greatest at following through on things.

I never got around to writing about the last month or so of my Europe 2016 trip, nor did I ever post about the last few cities I visited on my Italian adventure over the summer. And just two months ago in November, I promised to post twice a month on this here blog.

Yeah...that didn't happen.

This is the part where I say that one of my 2019 New Year's Resolutions™ is to follow through on my promises, to finish what I start, and to fulfill each and every one of my commitments!

(At least not this year.)

For one thing, I've decided that New Year's Resolutions don't work for me. 

Part of the reason is that it's way too much pressure. Every time that I have resolved to do something starting January 1st--whether it's don't eat junk food, exercise 6 days a week, or journal every day--I've fallen off the wagon by Groundhog Day and then written off the rest of the year. ("Oh well. I tried. I'll try again next year.") With New Year's Resolutions, I tend to get into the mindset of "I have to get it perfect from the get-go." There's no room for making mistakes, for starting over, for growing and making progress. It's all or nothing, and that just isn't a sustainable way of thinking.

The other reason is that the whole big, grand "New Year's Resolution" title steals significance from all of the other goals that I've made and achieved in other parts of the year. I don't just make goals in January; I'm constantly striving to become the person that I want to be. 

So this year, I've rebranded, and am working on my Goals for 2019. AKA my 2019 Intentions. AKA, the things that I'm going to make happen this year. (They have many names.)

I'm being more intentional, and defining both the big, overarching themes of things that I want to work on, as well as the smaller things that I can change in order to make that happen. I'm expecting to make mistakes, and I'm also expecting to make growth. Each month, each week, each day is a chance to start working on a new small step that will bring me closer to my overall goals, or to start over, as needed. 

So without further ado, here are Jess's 2019 Intentions: 

1. Fill my cup. As a teacher, one of the metaphors that you hear a lot is "You can't pour from an empty cup." It basically translates to "Make sure you take care of yourself, so you can take care of the kids." 
• This year I will try to be more fearless about doing things that fill my cup. I will try not to be intimidated by putting myself out there in the course of trying new things. 
• Examples of things that make me feel fulfilled: learning (just for the heck of it), climbing (I want to do some outdoor climbing this year), traveling (obviously. But this year, fewer cities and more nature), and reading (instead of mindlessly bingewatching). And more!
2. Pour from my cup. The whole point of filling your cup is so that you can use what's in you to help fill others' cups. 
• I'm a selfish person. I know this, and rather than getting defensive and denying it (as I have in the past), I'm accepting it and trying to work on it. 
• Baby Step #1: Actively trying to think more of others. I tend to be fairly oblivious to anything outside of my own needs and desires. I am going to begin consciously trying to look beyond myself in order to see others' wants and needs. 
• Baby Step #2: Once my eyes are opened to others and their needs, I can begin "inconveniencing" myself in order to help others. I say "inconvenience" because I need to help others with no expectation of getting anything myself (otherwise, it's still selfish). Instead of thinking "Why should I help them? They haven't done anything for me," I will think "Why should I help them? Because I can see that they could use some help, and because I am capable of offering help," or "Why should I do this for them? Because it will make them happy."
• Added Bonus: doing things for other human beings will help keep me from getting wrapped up in and swallowed by my own shiznit.
3. Get on top of my finances. This one is a little more concrete. I have been somewhat negligent with my finances; and while I'm not in a bad position financially, I am finding that I don't have the money to do some of the things that I want to do. This year, I will be more proactive and intentional with my money, which will give me greater freedom to do things that fill my cup, and will prevent my finances from becoming a stressor. 
• I'd like to start working towards larger, longer-term financial goals, such as buying a new car (since my car's transmission is turning out to be a potentially very expensive and unpredictable hunk of junk). 
• I've already started working on my financial goal. A high school track teammate recently shared her personal finance blog on social media, and I've found it very helpful. 

So there you have it, folks. New year, same me. And by "same me" I mean "constantly trying to be a better me."

Happy New Year.

(I would say "new post coming soon," but we all know how that'll go. 🤣)

A Bit of a Brain Dump and a Resolution

Hi. I know I kind of dropped off the face of the blogiverse...sorry. The school year started, over two months ago, actually, and life got busy.

...I know. Excuses, excuses.

I don't really have any new content to share today, travel-wise anyway, but I wanted to write something anyway.

See, I've been watching Jane the Virgin. It's my guilty-pleasure TV show. But I don't have to justify that to you. I enjoy watching it and that's all that really matters.

I'll be the first to admit that it's not the greatest TV show out there--it's basically a telenovela with some comedic aspects--but the thing about the show that's really been sticking with me even after I log off Netflix isn't all the dramatic happenings of the show (which have included love triangles, secret identical twins, and numerous other soap-opera clichés). In fact, the thing that's been sticking with me probably the least exciting aspect of this show.

Jane is a writer. And she just doesn't stop writing. She's a single mom, and a student, and her life is a complete and utter mess 95% of the time. But still, she always finds the time to write, because it's what she loves.

I love to write. Always have. But I haven't been making time for it. And what I'm learning now that I'm adulting full-time is that you're never going to find time for anything. You have to make time for the things that matter to you. And writing does matter to me; that's one of the reasons why I started this blog.

So this is me resolving to make time for my writing. I'm publishing this post because it'll help me hold myself accountable.

I'm starting small; just two posts a month. No promises about what the content might be...could be flashbacks to my travels or funny teaching stories, could be poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction.

If that doesn't interest you, no hard feelings. I'm doing this for me.

That being said, I would welcome any constructive feedback y'all would care to offer. But if you're just down to read and not comment, or not read and not comment, that's fine too.

Anyway. That's all for now...thanks for reading this post.

Commuter Life (AKA Traffic on Traffic on Traffic)

Twice daily, I cruise I-695, with my CDs riding shotgun.

And by "cruise," I mean "drive somewhere near the speed limit about 12% of the time and sit in horrendous traffic 88% of the time."

I spend a lot of time in the car these days. Since I leave my house by 6:45am, it typically takes about 25 minutes for me to get to my school. The way home can be rough, though. It can take anywhere from 25 minutes to an hour for me to get home from work.

And, man, do I get bored.

When I was a student, my options for in-car entertainment were limited: FM or AM. My 1991 Buick Regal had a faulty cassette player, and after it mangled three of the five cassettes I'd tracked down, I took the hint and stopped trying. Staticky radio it was.

Now that I have a car that's actually younger than me, the horizons of driver diversion have expanded exponentially. Not only have I tripled the number of radio presets available to me, I can play CDs (gasp) and even play music from my phone through Bluetooth (double gasp)!

I revel in the ability to listen to my CDs and Pandora stations, and typically alternate between the two in week-long phases. Currently, I'm on a neo-soul kick, featuring mainly Amy Winehouse, Fitz & the Tantrums, and the like.

Millenial that I am, I've tried many a podcast as well. But I have yet to find one that I can really get into.

Recently though, I rediscovered the wonder that is an audiobook.

When I was a kid and my family went on road trips, we listened almost exclusively to the Harry Potter series. It was pretty much the only thing we could agree on. Plus, we'd all read the books, so if one (or more) of us dozed off in the middle and missed a chapter or two, it wasn't a big deal.

It's crazy how lost you can get in a good book, even when you're driving. My commute flies by for the two or three weeks that an audiobook lasts me.

Here are a few of my recommendations for audiobooks, if you're interested:

1. The Harry Potter series. Obviously. Even if you've read them before, listening to them is a great experience. Jim Dale does a great job with all the voices throughout the series. 
2. Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella. I like a lot of Sophie Kinsella's books...they're light, easy reads, and they can be pretty hilarious at times. (The humor in her novels has been likened to that of the classic I Love Lucy, which y'all already know I'm a fan of.) This one is her first young adult novel, and actually one of the first audiobooks that I listened to "cold" (without having read the book first). It's about a teenage girl, Audrey, who, as a result of her anxiety, wears sunglasses constantly (it helps her avoid eye contact and feel safe). The cast of supporting characters are rather ridiculous, but in an authentic way. Plus, there's just something about having someone read to you in a British accent. 
3. Still Alice by Lisa Genova. This book is set in New England, and it's clear that the author (who reads her own book aloud to you) is also from that part of the country. Still, her accent is only a tad distracting, because the story itself is so compelling. It's told from the perspective of the title character, a Harvard professor diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. I don't want to spoil anything, in case any of y'all decide to read (or listen to) it, so I won't say much more. Definitely recommend this one, though. Lots of feels, and lots to think about.

I usually get audiobooks from the library in CD format; I haven't tried Audible myself, but I know you can download audiobooks in mp3 format with them if that's more your thing.

Been wanting to write this post for a while now, so my Christmas present to myself was actually setting aside some time to blog. Hope y'all enjoyed reading it.☺

Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year if I don't post again before then!

Happy Holidays from my family to yours!

I Lied.

Okay, so remember way back to a month ago, when I promised that I would be posting again soon? Well, "soon," it turns out, is a relative term.

The first five weeks of school have simultaneously flown by and dragged on. Noteworthy incidents include:

• A student cutting his own hair on the third day of school;
• Vomit (luckily into a trash can, but it was a close one);
• Finding out that one of my students knew literally ZERO English (and of course, I knew ever-so-slightly-more-than-ZERO Spanish);
• One student cussing out another student (who had told the first student that his hair looked like noodles);
• Two nosebleeds from two separate students on the same day (unrelated...I think);
• A decidedly failed experiment in which my students chose their own seats;
• And countless technical difficulties.

To sum it up, a rather eventful first month.

To say that I am tired would be a vast understatement. To say that I am frazzled would be an understatement of mythical proportions.

I mean, I knew that the first year of teaching would be tough, to say the least, but....the metaphor that I'm using at the moment is that I am just barely treading water. My head frequently dips below the surface, I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm going literally nowhere but somehow I'm still floating.

Too much negativity? I concur. I just had to get that off my chest.

And now for what I love about my job:

• The hugs that I started getting from my students on the second day of school.
• Math. (I hated it as a student, but I LOVE teaching it!)
• Writing positive post-it notes to my students (on a semi-regular basis) and watching their faces light up when they read them first thing in the morning.
• Posting teaching memes in the faculty bathroom. (And only one other person knows that it's me doing it...heeheehee.) This one got the most laughs:

• My classroom. It's chaotic, but it's my own personal disaster zone.
• STAR time (Students and Teachers All Reading) at the end of the day. I'm reading my class Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and even though it feels like nobody is listening sometimes, they always ask me at the end of each day whether we're reading Harry Potter today. 😊 Now if I could just get them as excited about the stuff in the curriculum, we'd be in business.

Anyway. That's it for now. It's about 3 hours past when I wanted to be in bed. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive.

Ish.

First-Day Thoughts From a Slightly Frazzled First-Year Teacher

Back by popular demand...it's your favorite travel-blogger-turned-working-schmuck!

What up blogiverse? It's been a while. (As my mom has repeatedly told me, both in person and in comments here.) Just so y'all know, I started like 7 different posts over the summer, none of which quite made it to the finish line. These will be turned into one giant mega-post in the not-too-distant future--I promise!--so stay tuned for that.

Anyway, here goes with a brain dump of the thoughts that crossed my mind over the course of my very first day as a full-time teacher:

Obligatory first day of school picture.

• I know I'm forgetting something.
• I can do this. I can do this. 
• Of course, I got a new student at 9:14 in the morning. There's still a full minute before the kids will be walking in the door.
• Damn, I got good at learning names!
• What am I forgetting?
• Those shoes are cute...wonder if they make them in my size? 
• When's lunch?
• Man, these kids can't stop talking. 
• Yes...lunch time!
• Crap, lunch is over already?
• Man, these kids really can't stop talking. 
• I know I'm forgetting something.
• Well, I hope everyone got on the right bus. 
• Wow, the day just flew by. 
• Wow, we got nothing done today.
• *big exhale* I made it. 

I was astonished to find that I actually wasn't that nervous. I mean, sure, I had a few first-day butterflies, but no panic whatsoever. I guess knowing that I was as prepared as I was going to be made it possible for me to just focus on my students when they arrived.

It probably also helped that I had my (many) mishaps when I was in Europe. At the apparent insistence of the universe, I learned that even when shit happens, I'll get through it.

A healthy attitude for a teacher to have, I guess.

T-Minus 2 Weeks to 5K

There are 6 days of school between me and summer...and two of them are half days. #icandothis

Thank you, small child. Never grow up to be a 5th grader. 

Teaching has kind of been my entire life for the last few weeks, hence the lack of new blog posts. (Sorry...I know you all LIVE for the witty, detailed accounts of my numerous and varied daring deeds.)

But now I'm training for a 5k, my first race in approximately forever, so I feel like I have something worth writing about again.

I've been trying to get back in shape ever since I got back from Europe. (Sure, I walked several miles a day while adventuring, but I also ate a LOT of croissants.)

For a while, my post-Europe exercise regimen was going well: I was hitting the gym at least 4 times a week, and I could feel my body slowly starting to return to its pre-macaroon fitness level.

But then I fell into a rut. My gym habit became more exercise routine than exercise regimen. If my progress were a geographical feature, it would have been a plateau. And all that was before I even started my job.

Corralling first through fifth graders into learning all day--on top of writing lesson plans and learning all the ins and outs of a new school--left me with very little energy by the end of the day, and the last thing that I wanted to do was hit the gym or go for a run.

All of these factors added up to a bit of an identity crisis for me; I've always been "the fitness nut." The freak who got up extra early before her 8AMs every morning to hit the campus gym the minute it opened at 6:30. The crazy who ran a half marathon and then drove 3 hours to play in a Kronum tournament. The nut who always took the stairs instead of the elevator, even when the elevator was right there.

The fact that I wasn't running six days a week, wasn't doing any strength workouts, wasn't doing yoga at all had me questioning whether "fitness" was still part of who I was.

Deep stuff.

So I got good deal on a Fitbit and headed off to the beach for Spring Break. And it helped: I got my butt out of my beach chair and took long, romantic walks along the beach at sunset...just me and my Fitbit.

Once I felt like I had an obligation to get up and move (those 10,000 steps aren't going to take themselves), I actually did it. The whole obligation thing also worked for soccer: I joined two teams, which gave me a social obligation to show up (can't let the team down), as well as a financial one (I paid $60 bucks for this league...I HAVE to go to the games). Not to mention, soccer is more fun than weightlifting.

Still, something was missing. So I applied the obligation tactic to running and signed myself up for a 5k, my first race in almost three years. I even coerced Evan into signing up too. Then he (conveniently?) broke his toe last week, so there goes my running buddy.

Running became part of my identity about eight years ago. I started running in high school, at first just to get in shape/stay in shape for soccer. But then I joined the track team my sophomore year, and I was hooked. I found myself running extra miles after games and practices during the soccer season, that way I would stay in racing shape for the next track season. (And yes, my soccer teammates gave me crap for that. Every. Single. Time. Yay, petty high school drama!)

I attempted almost every event a track meet has to offer (including long jump, to disastrous results) before I settled in as a mid-distance runner, usually running the 2nd or 3rd leg of the 4x800 relay. But once I went off to college, I--inspired by my fellow running addict and best friend--decided that I wanted to run a marathon. I started by training for the Iron Girl half marathon, and then forked over $90 to register for the Baltimore Marathon in the October of my sophomore year of college.

On the morning of the race, I got up at 5:00am, Sharpie-tattooed my mom's cell number on my arm (just in case I collapsed mid-race), and headed for M&T Bank Stadium, where the race would begin.

Silly pre-marathon Jess. So much pain ahead of you.

The 26.2 miles are a hellish blur in my memory, but a few details stand out: seeing my mom at the halfway marker (luckily I was still able to smile and wave at that point, because she snapped a picture); stopping by the water stop at mile 20, which supplied runners with Baltimore's favorite beer (Natty Boh), and tears of pain streaming down my face as I ran over that colorful bridge by MICA (the sight of which makes me flinch to this day). I have a vague memory of running the last .2 miles through Camden Yards, and crossing the finish line with legs that I could no longer feel.

Halfway there!

I don't think the post-race pictures of me with my tinfoil blanket and my medal quite capture the sheer exhaustion--both mental and physical--that I was feeling. The pride doesn't show either...that came later, after my 5-hour-long recovery nap.

The last race that I ran was another half marathon the following spring (the one that I finished and then road-tripped to New Jersey for a Kronum tournament, nut that I was). Since then, I haven't raced, but I kept running fairly regularly, and I still hit the gym up until I graduated last spring.

Going to Europe shook up my whole life (which was kind of the point). But it meant that when I got back to the States, getting fit was a struggle. So I'm excited to be finally getting back into it (tough as it is).

Any fitness tips? Recommendations for yoga videos? (That's next on my to-do list.)

Thoughts on Adulthood

So no one told me life was gonna be this way...

Now that I'm settling into what I suppose you could call "being a grown-up," I find that I have a lot less time to think, or at least to fully work through the thoughts that I have. So that's what I'm going to take a minute to do now.

Bear with me and this brain-dump of a post.

• Money is very abstract. Especially when you bank entirely online and pay primarily with credit/debit cards. Suddenly you look at your account statement and go: I spent how much now? It's so much easier to keep track of how much you're actually spending when you pay with cold, hard cash. 
• On a somewhat related note, why can't the US just get with the program and have chip readers everywhere? I can't get it right! I try the chip reader, they tell me to swipe; I try to swipe, and they tell me to use the chip reader. UGH.
• No one loves their job 100% of the time. And that's tough for me to accept. It's not just that some days are more challenging--challenging is fine. When my day is challenging, I feel rewarded and accomplished at the end of it. It's the days when I get home and I'm just so completely drained--mentally, physically, and emotionally--and the last thing I want to do is get ready for another day tomorrow...after several months of doing whatever the heck I wanted in Europe, it's especially rough having days (rare as they are) when I basically hate everything ever. 
• Since getting home from my trip, though, I find myself going out and actually doing things more often than I did before going to Europe...I guess I just got used to doing so much cool/fun stuff every day that it's become something of a habit. (Which is GREAT.)

Throwback to awesome things that I did in Europe.

• I hate other drivers. I used to think that Virginia drivers were terrible, but now I realize that it's actually just everybody. Turn signal? Speed limit? What are those??
• I am a sayer of "yes." As in, whenever anybody (especially at work) asks a favor of me, I say yes. I want to be agreeable, I want to be helpful, but at a certain point, I need to realize that saying yes to everything means that nothing will be done as well as it should be (or if it is, I'll certainly be worse for wear as a result).
• Having a new (well, 2015) car is amazing. All the fancy features are great--hello, back-up camera and Bluetooth connection!--but it's especially nice not having to worry whether I'm going to make it to Point B from Point A, and how long I can put off the next expensive but extremely necessary repair. (RIP Babs)

• Adulthood is a constant state of simultaneously needing to do things that you don't particularly want to do and daydreaming about what you would be doing if you won the lottery and never had to go to work again. 
• Adulthood is also realizing just how messed up this world is and just how daunting, discouraging, and difficult it is to make any sort of progress toward fixing it. 
• It is very hard to say no to my inner child. She keeps tugging my sleeve, saying things like, "We should eat ALL of the ice cream RIGHT NOW!" and, "This Fart Blaster is AMAZING! We NEED it!" And I have to say things like, "No, we'll get a tummyache if we eat all of it, plus also we'll get fat," and, "It's too expensive; we don't have the money for that right now." Basically, I'm no fun anymore. 

So there ya go...consider my brain officially dumped. (Thank the universe the weekend starts now.)

Anyone else have these thoughts? Any advice for a rookie adult?