A Day in the Life

Ever wondered what it's like teaching elementary school virtually? 

It's a whole new can of worms.

My day usually starts around 5:45am, with an artificial sunrise alarm clock that makes waking up before actual sunrise marginally less unbearable. Coffee is the immediate priority, obviously. 

Then once my coffee cup and eyes are about half empty and half open, respectively, I get dressed. Since it's winter, usually this means a nice sweater or blouse and cardigan, with fleece-lined leggings, fuzzy socks, and slippers completing the ensemble. One of the very few perks of teaching from home: I only have to look professional from the waist up. (A student asked me in October, "Is this what you look like at real school?" I said yes. What they don't know won't hurt them.)

By 7:00am I'm usually logged on to my work computer. Class doesn't start until 9:00am but I need the time to prep my PowerPoints and assignments. Theoretically, there 95 minutes of daily planning time built into my duty day, but even when I get all 95 of those minutes (read: on the rare occasions that there are no meetings scheduled during that time), 95 minutes is still not enough to: 

• grade assignments, 
• sort through and respond to the approximately 8,000 emails from parents, principals, and colleagues who don't know the difference between "Reply" and "Reply All,"
• create a day's worth of lessons and online assignments essentially from scratch (because the majority of "digital lessons" provided by my school district are in reality Word documents with a few vague suggestions)
  
• do whatever else gets put on my to-do list by someone else. 
  

At about 8:45am, I microwave my half-cup of now-cold coffee that I forgot to finish drinking as soon as I opened my computer, and then I log on to Google Meet. It's not an exaggeration to say that within 0.002 seconds of my starting the online meeting, a happy little "bing!" announces the arrival of at least 2 students. I spend the next 10 to 15 minutes alternating between listening to what everyone had for breakfast, dodging rather personal questions ("Ms. L., how come you're not married?"), and repeating the same beginning-of-class instructions I read off the screen every day: "Finish eating your breakfast, use the bathroom, make sure you have your Math and Reading books and a pencil, make sure your computer is fully charged or plugged in, make sure you are in a quiet place where you can focus."

You would think that they know the drill by now, especially since all of these directions are also on the screen, with pictures, as they have been since day one. But you would be wrong, because every day, several children will turn on their microphones when I am mid-sentence halfway through a lesson to inform me that they're going to the bathroom, or going to get their notebook, or grabbing a charger, or they can't hear me, shouting over the TV blaring in their background to let me know. (These are the moments when I say, "Okay, class. Ms. L. needs to take some deep breaths now before she flips her lid. Take some deep breaths with me now, everybody.")

*IN....aaaannd OUT..........IN..........aaaaaannnnnddd OUT.*

I like to start off the day with a silly check-in of sorts. Sometimes it's things like, "If you were a donut, what kind would you be?" Last Friday it was:

Next up is the Pledge of Allegiance and attendance. (Lately, I've been having the kids say a tongue-twister when I call their names. I tell them it's good fluency practice, but really it's just because hearing twenty-two 8-year-olds trying to say "Unique New York" is freaking hilarious.)

Then we move into Math, during which I have to remind multiple students multiple times that it is not in fact nap time, so you need to please sit up and pick up your pencil. After about 35 minutes of this, I send a link in the meeting chat to a quick quiz so I can see what the kids understand and what I'll need to reteach. Only about 60% of my students will actually click the link and do the assignment, leaving me to guess at what the other 40% have (or haven't) learned and try to plan my next lesson accordingly.

After that, we move into small group time. I meet with a quarter of my class at a time to try to reinforce what we covered in whole-group...assuming the kids log on when they're supposed to. Which, considering I tell them at the end of Math exactly who needs to be back at what time, and send them a link to the timer in the chat, AND send their parents a copy of our schedule every week, you would think they would at least mostly do. But again, you would be incorrect. 

*Breathe IN....aaaannd OUT..........IN..........aaaaaannnnnddd OUT.* 

Rinse and repeat for each subject throughout the day, with an increasing number of students showing up late to class, if at all, as the day goes on. Throw in a few dozen technical difficulties of varying degrees for me to navigate (in case you're wondering, it's not exactly a cakewalk to troubleshoot remotely with an 8-year-old on the other end) and forgotten usernames and passwords (which haven't changed since the kids were in first grade)...small wonder I sometimes need a 10-minute nap at lunch to get through the rest of the day.

At 3:10pm, the very end of the day, I offer 20 minutes of "Optional Help Time" for the students to log back on and work on their assignments with me. Of course, the few students who choose to show up are almost always the students who have already completed their assignments. In that case, we usually do a read-aloud (we just finished Frindle before Winter Break), or we play some Simon Says, or I just let the kids talk to me and to each other about whatever they want. Even though by this point in the day, my brain is totally fried and my eyes hurt and I still have a million and one things on my to-do list, I'm secretly bummed to kick the kids off at 3:30. Those 20 minutes of just hanging out with my students are secretly my favorite part of the day.

Often I take a break after that and go outside or get a workout in, and sometimes I just power through, but either way, I usually work at least another hour and a half after school doing things I didn't have time to do during my actual work day...with still plenty left to do when I log back on at 7:00 tomorrow morning. *sigh*

Man, I miss actually being in school. The kids miss it, too. At least once a day, I get a question about what our real classroom is like and what we would be doing if we were there right now. We miss high-fives and hugs, birthday crowns and science experiments. We miss actual books and paper assignments. We miss the cafeteria, the classroom, recess. Most of all of course we miss just getting to go somewhere every day and be around other people...

But, as I tell the kiddos, we have to keep reminding ourselves that this is temporary. This is the safe thing to do right now. One day, we will go back to "real" school. ("When?" they ask me. 😭) Until then, we just gotta try to make the best of it and keep on keeping on.

 

On the bright side, I didn't have to remind any of my students to put on pants this week. #littlevictories

Anything else you wanna know about the teacher life? Hit me up. 🠋

Summer 2018

Well, hello there...long time, no see.

My bad.

The last 4 months of the school year (yes, it has been that long since my last post, and yes, I am sorry) were tough, to say the least. Most of the time, I was just hanging on, counting down the days--and on some days, the hours--left in the school year. It was always too many.

Now that summer vacation has finally--FINALLY!--arrived, I find myself with both the time and the motivation to blog. So here we go...

Let's start with a (brief) reflection on my first year as a full-time teacher:

Pretty much sums it up.

I survived my first year of teaching 3rd grade with my sanity (somewhat) intact.

Now summer is here, and I haven't checked my school email since the last day of school, nor do I plan to anytime soon. (If anyone from work is reading this, don't rat me out. K thanks.)

No more thinking about school...my focus is on enjoying the bejesus out of my summer!

I had to.
Last meme for now, I promise. 

So what do I have planned for this summer? I'm so glad you asked...

Ya girl is getting out of the country again!

That's right, I will be making my triumphant return to Europe when I go to Italy in July. My rough itinerary for my two-and-a-half-week trip is:

1. Fly to Italy. 
2. Eat a crap ton of pasta.
3. Eat a crap ton of gelato.
4. Visit family in Germany. 
5. Have coffee and cake every day.
6. Fly home. 

For those of you wondering which cities I will be in when I am eating my body weight in Italian food:

• Rome (day trips to Pompeii and possibly Capri)
• Florence (day trip to Pisa)
• Cinque Terre
• Venice (day trip to Verona and hiking in the Dolomites)

If any of y'all have been to Italy and have any suggestions for me, leave a comment! I love love love travel recommendations!

The rest of this summer, I'm working at Go Ape treetop adventure course again, so I'll be spending a lot of time outdoors. (Come visit me at work if you fancy a swing through the trees!)

On my days off, I'm scheming a lot of day trips to the beach, some hiking, and checking off items on my bucket list. (Stay tuned for more details on that!)

I'm also hoping to see Hamilton at the Kennedy Center at some point this summer, so if anyone needs any ideas for a birthday gift for me... *wink wink*

↑ Me when I start talking about Hamilton. 

My friends and family. ↑

But actually.

Anyhoo, that's all for now, loyal readers. My *goal* for this summer is 2 blog posts a month, so you'll hear from me again soon. ☺

Lies I Tell My Students

Honesty is the best policy, right?

Wrong. If you work with children, you tell them whatever it takes to get through the day.

#1: "The principal is coming to watch YOU learn."

What I'm Really Saying: "She's here to watch me teach, so you'd better not act up."
Does it work? ...eh.

#2: "Yes, I'm grading this."

What I'm Really Saying: "Like I have time to grade every single little scrap of paper that you write on over the course of a school day. Do your work anyway."

#3: "We had a rough start to our day, but you did a great job of turning it around, so I'm going to give you back the recess you lost."

What I'm Really Saying: "It's a really nice day and I want to be outside. So even though you were horrible this morning, we're having recess."

#4: "I'm not going to repeat these instructions. Listen carefully so you will know what to do."

What I'm really saying: "I'm going to say these directions six times, but you still aren't going to listen to them, and then you're going to call across the room when I'm working with a small group that you don't know what to do. And then I'm going to lose it."

#5: "I don't listen to tattles."

What I'm Really Saying: "I'll listen to your tattle, because one time you told me that so-and-so said the S-word, and that S-word turned out to be 'stupid,' and I need a funny story to tell at happy hour later."

**If you know me at all, you know that this is all highly satirical. And yet, I feel obligated to say so because some people take things WAY too seriously. To those people, I say:

Alternate title for this post: Jess Goes Overboard with Teacher Memes.

I Lied.

Okay, so remember way back to a month ago, when I promised that I would be posting again soon? Well, "soon," it turns out, is a relative term.

The first five weeks of school have simultaneously flown by and dragged on. Noteworthy incidents include:

• A student cutting his own hair on the third day of school;
• Vomit (luckily into a trash can, but it was a close one);
• Finding out that one of my students knew literally ZERO English (and of course, I knew ever-so-slightly-more-than-ZERO Spanish);
• One student cussing out another student (who had told the first student that his hair looked like noodles);
• Two nosebleeds from two separate students on the same day (unrelated...I think);
• A decidedly failed experiment in which my students chose their own seats;
• And countless technical difficulties.

To sum it up, a rather eventful first month.

To say that I am tired would be a vast understatement. To say that I am frazzled would be an understatement of mythical proportions.

I mean, I knew that the first year of teaching would be tough, to say the least, but....the metaphor that I'm using at the moment is that I am just barely treading water. My head frequently dips below the surface, I feel like I'm drowning, and I'm going literally nowhere but somehow I'm still floating.

Too much negativity? I concur. I just had to get that off my chest.

And now for what I love about my job:

• The hugs that I started getting from my students on the second day of school.
• Math. (I hated it as a student, but I LOVE teaching it!)
• Writing positive post-it notes to my students (on a semi-regular basis) and watching their faces light up when they read them first thing in the morning.
• Posting teaching memes in the faculty bathroom. (And only one other person knows that it's me doing it...heeheehee.) This one got the most laughs:

• My classroom. It's chaotic, but it's my own personal disaster zone.
• STAR time (Students and Teachers All Reading) at the end of the day. I'm reading my class Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and even though it feels like nobody is listening sometimes, they always ask me at the end of each day whether we're reading Harry Potter today. 😊 Now if I could just get them as excited about the stuff in the curriculum, we'd be in business.

Anyway. That's it for now. It's about 3 hours past when I wanted to be in bed. Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm still alive.

Ish.

First-Day Thoughts From a Slightly Frazzled First-Year Teacher

Back by popular demand...it's your favorite travel-blogger-turned-working-schmuck!

What up blogiverse? It's been a while. (As my mom has repeatedly told me, both in person and in comments here.) Just so y'all know, I started like 7 different posts over the summer, none of which quite made it to the finish line. These will be turned into one giant mega-post in the not-too-distant future--I promise!--so stay tuned for that.

Anyway, here goes with a brain dump of the thoughts that crossed my mind over the course of my very first day as a full-time teacher:

Obligatory first day of school picture.

• I know I'm forgetting something.
• I can do this. I can do this. 
• Of course, I got a new student at 9:14 in the morning. There's still a full minute before the kids will be walking in the door.
• Damn, I got good at learning names!
• What am I forgetting?
• Those shoes are cute...wonder if they make them in my size? 
• When's lunch?
• Man, these kids can't stop talking. 
• Yes...lunch time!
• Crap, lunch is over already?
• Man, these kids really can't stop talking. 
• I know I'm forgetting something.
• Well, I hope everyone got on the right bus. 
• Wow, the day just flew by. 
• Wow, we got nothing done today.
• *big exhale* I made it. 

I was astonished to find that I actually wasn't that nervous. I mean, sure, I had a few first-day butterflies, but no panic whatsoever. I guess knowing that I was as prepared as I was going to be made it possible for me to just focus on my students when they arrived.

It probably also helped that I had my (many) mishaps when I was in Europe. At the apparent insistence of the universe, I learned that even when shit happens, I'll get through it.

A healthy attitude for a teacher to have, I guess.

Hire Me! (Please?)

Guess what? Your favorite blogger has a summer job!

If you had asked me about a week ago what my summer plans were, my answer would've been "a whole lot of nothing." I wanted to enjoy my summer, dammit. But then I spent an entire Saturday doing absolutely nothing and realized that if I tried to spend the whole summer that way, I would be stir-freaking-crazy. Not to mention the fact that I would blow through what little savings I have managed to accumulate since coming home from Europe.

So I decided that I might want to be employed this summer after all.

First, I thought of jobs I'd previously held: the last two summers, I worked as a campus tour guide and answering phones in the admissions office at Towson. But since I'm no longer a student, neither of those is an option anymore. My next thought was returning to the daycare that I worked at for the two summers prior to the tour guide gig. But since I'll already be working with children nine months out of the year, doing so in the summer was extremely unappealing. And I've heard so many horror stories from friends who work in retail or restaurants that I had to rule those two sectors out as well.

I might be getting a job, but I'm not getting one that will make me miserable.

Around the time that I was brainstorming possible not-life-sucking summer jobs, Evan and I were planning to do the "treetop adventure" course where his sister works. Serendipitously (is that a word?), she mentioned that they were hiring. So I sent in my resume, and within five days, I was hired.

Trust me, I'm a professional.

I feel like I'm getting used to the whole interviewing thing. Which isn't to say that I don't still get nervous; of course I still get nervous. But it's no longer the debilitating, burst-into-tears-in-the-hallway-beforehand brand of nervousness. Now it's just a little bit of tension; once I actually start answering the interview questions, I'm actually fine. Fake-it-till-you-make-it: surprisingly effective!

As for my school-year job prospects: I've been on about eight or so interviews, but so far...nada. The typical timing for a new teacher getting hired is sometime in July. As in next month. As in five whole months after I sent in my application.

So. Much. Waiting.

I just want to know where I'm going to be and what grade I'm going to be teaching, that way I can start planning lessons, getting things for my classroom, and--oh, I don't know--figuring out where I'm going to live starting this fall. *sigh*

I know it's all going to work out. I'm not worried, per se...I just feel very in limbo at the moment, not having any of that figured out.

Hopefully the employment gods smile upon me soon.