Here's Looking at You, 2021.

Let's not dwell on 2020 too terribly much; it's sufficient to say that it's been a rough year no matter who you are. I don't know about you, but I am SO ready to say adiós to 2020. 

Me, to 2020.

In just a few short hours, it will be a whole new year, shiny and full of potential. In the spirit of new beginnings, it's time for some new intentions. (AKA New Year's Resolutions™, though I stopped calling them that a couple of years ago.) 

In the field of education, we talk a lot about something called a growth mindset. In a growth mindset, failures are seen as learning opportunities and personal traits as a "starting point for development." For example, a person with a growth mindset might fail a math test and say, "Okay, let me look back at the problems I've missed and see if I can figure out how to do them correctly so I'll get better at this type of problem. I'll ask my teacher to help me with the ones I can't figure out." (By contrast, in a fixed mindset, a person's traits and qualities are perceived as unchangeable, and failures are, well...failures. I.e., "I failed that test because I'm not good at math.") Focusing on perfection (or lack thereof) can be very disheartening. A growth mindset is empowering because it focuses on making progress, which everyone is capable of making, rather than an unattainable standard of "perfection," which almost certainly means failure one way or another.

If you're setting goals for self-improvement, congrats! You're already incorporating some principles of the growth mindset. 🎉 Now let's take a closer look at the goals you're setting...

A few weeks ago--during a faculty meeting of all things!--I had a bit of an epiphany in terms of personal development. In a segment about the best ways to correct and redirect students' behavior, including our tone, body language, word choice, and more, we were reminded to focus on the behaviors that we want to encourage, not those that we want to discourage. Whatever we give our attention to is what will continue.

If you've ever failed at a New Year's Resolution™ or any other goal (I say "if," but if you say you haven't, you and I both know you're full of s***) it may have been because you had a negative focus, e.g. "Stop eating junk food." To rephrase this goal using positive language, try something like, "Replace unhealthy snacks with healthy ones, and intentionally choose my 'treats.'" Now you're concentrating on the behavior that you want to establish and continue, rather than the one you want to quit. This makes it easier to focus on and celebrate your successes, rather than beat yourself up over "failures." 

And, as in a growth mindset, remember to look at your "failures" as learning opportunities. For example: Why did I eat that entire bag of Cheetos? Because I was completely engrossed in "The Queen's Gambit" and didn't realize how much I was eating. What could I do differently next time? Well, I could pour out some Cheetos into a small bowl to exercise portion control, or swap them out for guilt-free baby carrots. 

Another way to revamp your New Year's goals? Try SMART goals:

Specific - "Get in shape." 👎 "Get at least 3 twenty-minute workouts a week."👍

Measurable - How will you track your progress toward your goal?

Achievable - If you've never run a mile in your life, don't expect to run a marathon in February.

Relevant - Why are you setting this goal? You've got to have a good reason to help keep you motivated!

Time-Bound - Having checkpoints for yourself will help track your progress, keep you motivated, and provide opportunities to re-evaluate as needed.

For me personally, I've found that large goals with smaller steps built in to each tends to work best for me. (See my 2019 Goals & Intentions.) That being said, this past year has been an education in terms of realizing simultaneously how much and how little I can control. There are still a lot of unknowns going into 2021, and considering how far off the mark I was with how I thought 2020 was going to go, I'm not even going to attempt to predict what this upcoming year will look like.

So my 2021 Mantra, if you will...

I will direct my energies toward what I can control 

& let go of what is beyond my control.

 

Global pandemic? Largely beyond my control. What I can control is wearing my mask, social distancing, etc. to keep myself and others safe and healthy. Whether my gym is open: not within my control. Being a total couch potato all day or going on a 20-minute run and then becoming a couch potato? I can control that. Whether we teach online or in person? Beyond my control. Setting and maintaining work-life boundaries either way? That's something I can control.

But the biggest thing within my control which influences all else: my mindset. Though there are a LOT of circumstances beyond my control these days, my attitude and my reaction to what's going on around me ARE within my control. When I catch myself with a negative attitude, I need to pause, pivot, and strive for positivity. Easier said than done, but it's something I'll be working on all year (and probably beyond).

All right, now it's your turn: take a moment to think about your goals for 2021. Have you already made them? Do you want to edit them? Go ahead and write them down somewhere. I'll wait. 

Seriously, take your time. 

 

All done and ready to start fresh tomorrow and every day after that? Yay! Break out the bubbly and get ready to ring in the New Year! 🥳

Let's kick start this year with a new attitude and new intentions.

2021, here we come!

Wanna share your resolutions/goals/intentions for the New Year? I'd love to hear them! ⬎

The Curve

 In case you hadn't noticed, there has been a pretty steep curve during this pandemic. Yes, THAT curve...

...but also the learning curve. In the spirit of end-of-year self-reflection, I want to share what I've learned a lot about myself during these last few months.

Being the self-aware Type-A person that I am, I've always known that I like having structure to my days. The highly regulated schedule of my school workday and my various dance classes, yoga classes, climbing sessions, and soccer games kept me busy in the best possible way, with just enough leeway for most of the other things I wanted or needed to do. Three years into teaching, I finally had a healthy work-life balance.

So when the pandemic first shut everything down way back in March, my suddenly empty days scared the SH*T out of me. If it had just been a break from work, I would've been fine. Usually on a school break, I would hit the gym more frequently, see friends and family, pick up some extra dance lessons, travel...none of that was an option this time. Suddenly I had a whole lot of free time--something I try to avoid at all costs--and nothing to fill it with.

It was as though the loom upon which I'd been weaving the strands of my life together had vanished, and suddenly I was a tangled pile of string on the floor. All I felt able to do was stare at my computer screen, endlessly clicking "Continue Watching" whenever the screen paused and asked if I was still there. (Why don't you just keep your judgment to yourself, Netflix?) The self-loathing that accompanied these days of binge-watching was just an added bonus.

After about a week or so, this tangled pile of string knew she had to learn how to do macrame and give herself some structure. Who knew if or when that loom she had before might come back?

I did a lot of walking and running in those early days...anything that got me moving and out of the house made a huge difference in terms of my sanity. I can recall one day when I walked non-stop for 4 hours. (One of the perks of living in the same town you grew up in: almost no thinking required for navigation.) Often, I would call and check in with family members and friends while I walked. 

Unlike the many sourdough dabblers and banana bread fiends at that time, I couldn't really get into cooking and baking due to a less-than-ideal living situation. (Read: psycho roommate who, among other things, couldn't share the kitchen. Fortunately, I was able to escape at the end of April with a few shreds of my sanity.)

If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

It was honestly such a relief when we started teaching online in the spring. At that point, we only had to be online for a couple of hours a day, and it was more about checking in with our students and their families than anything else. Still, that tiny bit of structure made all the difference. Having that one block of time that I needed to work around each day allowed me to build the rest of my day into some semblance of normal. Or at least functional.

(Of course, virtual school is now eating my entire life, but more on that later.)

Having had the experience of everything shutting down, I know now just how crucial it is for me to have structure in my day with some form of external accountability in place. I've always thought of myself as a very self-motivated individual, but it turns out that when I have all the time in the world, I become a couch potato. A rather disappointing discovery, I'll admit, but if (Universe forbid) everything were to shut down all over again, I like to think I'd be better able to handle it, armed with this new self-knowledge.

TLDR; Type A millennial falls apart when COVID shut everything down (shocker) and pulls herself together (ish).

Better Late Than Never

Belatedly it dawns on me that I probably should've been blogging throughout this whole coronavirus thing for several reasons:

1. Documentation for future generations. I can see it now: me, still teaching 3rd grade 20 years from now, telling my students, "This is what life was like during the great COVID-19 Pandemic." 
2. Documentation for myself. Honestly, I have no idea what I did during most of the initial weeks of lockdown. Would've been interesting to be able to look back and see what the heck I did. (Plus I might have been more motivated to do interesting things for the sake of the blog if nothing else.) 
3. Y'all would've had something to read in those weeks and weeks of lockdown. But then when would you have watched "Tiger King" and baked banana bread??
   
4. When have I ever had so much free time? I mean, sure, now that I'm teaching online, I feel like a first-year teacher again with no time for anything but school and lesson planning and prepping. But in those early days I had nothing BUT time. #missedopportunity 

Oh, well...I'm here now. 

Better late than never, right?

It's been so long that I kind of forgot that I have this blog, to be honest. 🙈 But I've missed writing, so in the interest of doing more of what makes me happy, here I am. While I'm not dumb enough to promise another post soon (and you're not naive enough to believe it even if I did promise it), I will say that you haven't heard the last from me. 

See ya again soon(ish).