But even that isn't completely truthful.
The truth is that, in spite of what I have decided to refer to as "The Series of Unfortunate Events" (a.k.a. Expensive Swiss Mishaps 1, 2, and 3), I loved Switzerland.
Switzerland is the grumpy old cat that hates being touched, and scratches anyone who comes near it. And I am the child who insists on picking it up and hugging it anyway.
Switzerland is beautiful--I would say that it's almost as beautiful as Iceland, but in a completely different way. Iceland had a raw, rugged beauty in its landscapes, all natural, and all its own. Much of Switzerland's beauty comes from its natural features, like rivers and lakes so clear and blue that you think you've landed in a fairytale. Or how about the Swiss freaking Alps? Even standing right on top of one of them, looking out at three more right in front of me, I almost couldn't believe they were real.
But some of Switzerland's beauty also comes from humankind's additions to the land, like the miles of vibrantly green farmland and wide open meadows, with cute little houses enhancing, rather than detracting from, the scenery. Ugh. those adorable little Alpine towns, nestled into valleys, reflected in those perfect lakes, or cut right into the mountainsides...even Swiss cows were the cutest stinking cows that I'd ever seen.
The cities that I visited all had buildings dating back to medieval times, many with intricate frescoes between their windows, others painted bright, happy colors, and I swear every window had its own little flower garden.
I could go on and on about how beautiful Switzerland is, but let's fast-forward to the part where I tell you what I did while I was there (besides lose all of my money).
Halfway through my train ride from Munich to Zurich, my train pulled into a station on a peninsula on the Bodensee. Which meant that, when we pulled out of the station a few minutes later, my carefully-selected, forward-facing seat now faced backwards. So when my train arrived in Zurich two hours later, I was feeling a wee bit queasy. Nonetheless, I found my way to the official meeting point in the Zurich Hauptbahnhof with little difficulty. (It helped that there was a giant sign with the universal symbol for "meeting point" on it.) There, I finally officially met the fraternity Brother who--via Facebook--had offered to host me during my stay in Zurich. After a quick stop in the train station's mad house of a grocery store (being one of the only stores in the city open on a Sunday has its hazards), we hopped on the S9 train to Schwerzenbach, the suburb of Zurich where my friend lived.
That evening, I had the first home-cooked (and also maybe the first vegetarian) meal I'd had in three weeks. I didn't realize how much I'd missed home cooking until I was swooning over the first bite of risotto and roasted root veggies.
I also hadn't realized just how much I'd missed the American way of making beds until I was snug under the covers that night--after watching both the Browns (my hosts' team) and the Ravens (my team) lose. Don't get me wrong, European beds are comfy, but when you've had a top sheet between you and your comforter your whole life, you can't quite get used to just having the comforter.
Between the food, the football, and the bedding--not to mention my awesome ex-pat hosts!--I was feeling pretty at home in Switzerland from the get-go, and I was ready to get out and explore Zurich the next morning. In the morning mist, I roamed around, finding my way to the old town, and then parked myself on a bench to enjoy the sight of the sun breaking through the clouds over the lake.
At 11:00, I met up with a group of people at Paradeplatz for--you guessed it--a free walking tour of the city. My tour guide was a native Zuricher, currently a student at the university. Some of my favorite stories from the tour:
--Near the end of the 13th century, the city of Zurich's army set out to capture a neighboring city. The leader of another nearby city caught wind of this, and sought to capture Zurich in its army's absence. The women of the city saw the oncoming army, and, led by a woman named Hedwig, dressed up in armor and stood atop the city wall, which led the would-be invaders to believe that the city was still defended by its army. So they about-faced and headed back home.
--When Tina Turner (now a Swiss citizen residing in Zurich) got married to Erwin Bach in 2013, she invited all of her celebrity friends to the ceremony, including the one and only Oprah. Oprah apparently decided to do some shopping while in town, and selected a purse at an expensive boutique in the old town. The sales clerk, who apparently had no idea who Oprah was (!), suggested that she should perhaps look at some purses more within her price range. As if there is anything out of Oprah's price range.
After the tour, I popped up one of the two towers of one of the Grossmünster church for a great view over the city.
I then met up with my friend, accompanied by her faithful hound, and we went to a vegetarian restaurant for lunch, where my single plate of animal-product-free foods set me back 25 Francs ($27 USD). Eek!
Deciding on the spot that I needed to save some money, I opted for nice, free tap water as my beverage. Of course, after lunch, saving money went out the window as my friend took me on a tour around some of Switzerland's famous chocolate shops.
The first one we checked out was Sprüngli, which is known not only for its chocolate, but also for its Luxemburgerli, which are tiny macarons, traditionally comprised of two almond meringues with buttercream filling in between. They were invented in the 1950s by a guy from Luxembourg, who had originally called them "foam kisses." Of course, the blushing young ladies who frequented the shops back then weren't so bold as to ask for "foam kisses," so they referred to them as Luxemburgerli, and the name stuck.
I'd never had a macaron before, so I was super excited when the smiling lady behind the counter offered us free samples of the seasonal flavor (walnut and plum brandy) as a reward for our attempts to speak German. It was love at first bite. I. Am. Obsessed. But in the interest of saving some funds for the rest of the chocolate tour, I limited myself to buying only four Luxemburgerli to take with me: raspberry, mandarin, chocolate, and gold champagne (because I'm fancy like that).
Next up was Teuscher, which had some pretty spectacular Halloween decorations up in their store, plus lots of seasonally-shaped confections. Two flavors of chocolate caught my eye: chocolate and chili (always a tasty and unique combination), and chocolate with pink pepper (I don't know about you, but I had never even heard of pink pepper before). I picked up a bar of each.
Stop number three was Honold Confiserie, which had not only chocolates, but also a mouthwatering array of cakes, cookies, and other treats, each of which was intricately decorated, and each of which had a mini-heart attack of a price tag. I selected a variety of small chocolates, including a dark chocolate truffle, a milk chocolate truffle, a mocha chocolate, a caramel chocolate, and an absinthe-filled chocolate bean (because I'd never tried absinthe, and it piqued my curiosity).
The fourth and final shop that we visited was Läderach, which is known for its chocolate slabs, made fresh every day. These slabs of chocolate (both milk chocolate and dark) are available in a mind-boggling assortment of flavors. You can choose how big of a piece you want broken off of the slab, and you then pay by weight. The flip sides of the slabs are helpfully labeled with the flavor, and of course the name Läderach, in edible gold ink. Which makes it easier when you get home and can't recall which flavors you picked out. I opted for dark chocolate Florentine, which was topped with candied almond slivers, and milk chocolate with crystalized honey in it.
With that, the chocolate tour came to an end, and my friend and her dog and I wandered around the old town until my friend remembered a vet appointment that they were supposed to be at, and dashed off. I meandered around town for a while as the sun started to set, then stopped in a department store to warm up.
The first one we checked out was Sprüngli, which is known not only for its chocolate, but also for its Luxemburgerli, which are tiny macarons, traditionally comprised of two almond meringues with buttercream filling in between. They were invented in the 1950s by a guy from Luxembourg, who had originally called them "foam kisses." Of course, the blushing young ladies who frequented the shops back then weren't so bold as to ask for "foam kisses," so they referred to them as Luxemburgerli, and the name stuck.
I'd never had a macaron before, so I was super excited when the smiling lady behind the counter offered us free samples of the seasonal flavor (walnut and plum brandy) as a reward for our attempts to speak German. It was love at first bite. I. Am. Obsessed. But in the interest of saving some funds for the rest of the chocolate tour, I limited myself to buying only four Luxemburgerli to take with me: raspberry, mandarin, chocolate, and gold champagne (because I'm fancy like that).
Stop number three was Honold Confiserie, which had not only chocolates, but also a mouthwatering array of cakes, cookies, and other treats, each of which was intricately decorated, and each of which had a mini-heart attack of a price tag. I selected a variety of small chocolates, including a dark chocolate truffle, a milk chocolate truffle, a mocha chocolate, a caramel chocolate, and an absinthe-filled chocolate bean (because I'd never tried absinthe, and it piqued my curiosity).
The fourth and final shop that we visited was Läderach, which is known for its chocolate slabs, made fresh every day. These slabs of chocolate (both milk chocolate and dark) are available in a mind-boggling assortment of flavors. You can choose how big of a piece you want broken off of the slab, and you then pay by weight. The flip sides of the slabs are helpfully labeled with the flavor, and of course the name Läderach, in edible gold ink. Which makes it easier when you get home and can't recall which flavors you picked out. I opted for dark chocolate Florentine, which was topped with candied almond slivers, and milk chocolate with crystalized honey in it.
With that, the chocolate tour came to an end, and my friend and her dog and I wandered around the old town until my friend remembered a vet appointment that they were supposed to be at, and dashed off. I meandered around town for a while as the sun started to set, then stopped in a department store to warm up.
Until that point, I hadn't really grasped how expensive Switzerland is. We're talking markups on a movie-theater concession-stand scale. NFL-stadium-at-playoffs sized profit margins. On everything, everywhere. To give you some perspective: trial-size toiletries (you know, the teeny-tiny little shampoos and whatnot) were priced, on average, at 2.79 Francs. That's about $3.00 USD. Just in case you're out of touch with how much those things usually cost: you can get them at Target for 97 cents.
Anywho, shortly thereafter, Expensive Swiss Mishap #1 took place. If you missed that post, go read it now, because I'm going to pick up where it left off.
At that point, I was really in need of a pick-me-up, so I broke into my Honold chocolates and started with the absinthe-filled chocolate bean. Ahh, absinthe...what an enticing name, what a disgusting flavor (unless you relish the taste of black licorice, which I absolutely despise). As you can imagine, that didn't really improve my mood. But the mocha chocolate that I chose next made me feel much better. If you know me at all, this won't come as a surprise...you know what miracles chocolate and coffee can work on my mood.
When I made it back to Schwerzenbach a little later, I was already looking at the bright side of my mishap--if nothing else, it's a funny story for you people to read--but I still appreciated the sympathy that my friends offered. I also appreciated the cheesy deliciousness that was dinner. No, not fondue...raclette! It's a very Swiss meal; it's basically reverse fondue. You heat up the cheese until it's all melty and gooey and wonderful, and then scrape it onto whatever you have on your plate (in our case, that was roasted broccoli and potatoes, bread, and bacon). Helloooo, new favorite food!
I capped off my evening by finally eating those four Luxemburgerli that I'd been thinking about all day. I'd been tempted to crack them open earlier, but I was glad that I saved them for the very end of the day. I had sweet dreams of Swiss junk food that night. (Yes, that pun was intended, and no, I will not apologize for it.)
On Tuesday, I was ready to turn over a new leaf in Switzerland. Based on my friends' recommendation, I had a day trip planned to Fribourg/Freiburg and to Bern, and I was hoping these cities would be kinder to me than Zurich had been the day before. I validated my public-transit day pass and hopped on a train to Fribourg/Freiburg.
Why the two spellings? Great question! I'm glad you asked...
Switzerland has four official languages: German (very different from the German that they speak in Germany), French (very different from the French that they speak in France), Italian (very different from the Italian that they speak in Italy), and Romansh (very different from the Latin that it started out as). Fribourg/Freiburg is located right where the German-speaking and French-speaking parts of Switzerland meet. Of course, I didn't realize this until I got there and the announcement on the train played in French, then German, then English. I thought I'd gotten on the wrong train for a minute.
Fribourg/Freiburg has a very old Old Town. Most of the houses in that part of town have been there since the Middle Ages. I had a great time just roaming along the lanes that went up and down the hills, back and forth across the river, and along the crumbling city wall. I spent the whole morning there, doing nothing in particular but wandering and taking pictures and acquiring an embarrassing damp patch on my jeans from sitting on a bench that I had failed to notice was wet.
Around 1:00, I hopped on a train to get to Bern. I made a beeline for the river, where I was once again wonderstruck by how clear and blue the water was. Even though these rivers of Alpine origin run right through major Swiss cities, the water is easily clean enough to swim in (though it was a bit too chilly that day for me to feel inclined to do so).
As I explored the streets of Bern, the clouds rolled in, and I took cover in a café, where I enjoyed a cappucino and some sort of chocolate cake with Bailey's in it while I waited for the rain to relent. The clouds stuck around, but the rain was barely a drizzle when I headed out to the Rose Gardens, where my favorite pastime--a free walking tour--was scheduled to begin at 5:00. I got there early, but almost missed the start of the tour when I got caught up with smelling the last of the blooms.
I was glad I didn't miss the tour, because I learned a lot of fun facts abour Bern on the tour, including:
--According to local lore, Bern is named for bears, apparently the first animal that the founder of the city encountered on a hunt when he arrived in the area. Bears have been kept in capitvity in the city since shortly after its founding in the 12th century (though their habitats have become far more humane since then).
--Swiss street signs are usually blue, but in Bern, each district has its own color street signs, including green, yellow, and red, as well as blue. Apparently, when Napoleon took over the city at the end of the 18th century, his troops took advantage of the city's substantial wine stores. The drunken soldiers (understandably) had some trouble finding their way home at night, so the colors of the street signs were changed to make it easier for the soldiers to navigate.
--A major step towards modern chocolate was made in Bern in 1879, when Rudolphe Lindt accidentally left his chocolate mixer running overnight. In the morning, he discovered that the constant mixing of the chocolate for extended periods made it incredibly smooth (up until that time, chocolate had a very gritty, rather unappealing texture). Bam! Chocolate became delicious.
--Speaking of chocolate, you probably knew that Toblerone is Swiss chocolate. You may have even made the connection between the iconic mountain logo and the Matterhorn, Switzerland's most famous Alp. But what you may not have noticed is that, within that mountain logo, there is also the image of a bear. That's because when Theodor Tobler invented Toblerone in 1908, he was very proud to do so in Bern, the city of the bear.
That tour was chock-full of interesting facts, in spite of the fact that it wrapped up a little early because of the cold and the dark, not to mention the return of the rain. I wasn't too upset about it, though, because it gave me time to pop into one of Bern's famous basement bars before I caught my train back to Schwerzenbach.
All in all, by the time I got back, I was feeling pretty good about my mishap-free day, and was super pumped to get to the Alps on Wednesday.
Of course, my optimistic outlook was toast when Swiss Mishap #2 struck. I'll wait while you read that one.
All caught up? Good.
The Alps. Oh my Lanta. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so, here, have a few thousand words:
Schilthorn also happens to be where many of the scenes from "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (a James Bond movie, starring George Lazenby as 007) was filmed. The building that they used is now a tourist attraction at the summit of the mountain, featuring a Bond museum.
There's also a thrill walk:
Upon returning to my hostel that evening, I headed up to the rooftop terrace to watch the sun set over the city while I wrote some postcards. I hit the hay early so that I could be sure I wouldn't oversleep and miss my train the next day (it seemed likely, in light of all the other mishaps I'd had).
Spoiler alert: against all odds, my departure from Switzerland the next day went smoothly.
On my way to the train station, I caught sight of this guy. Well, I heard him first, obviously.
Anywho, shortly thereafter, Expensive Swiss Mishap #1 took place. If you missed that post, go read it now, because I'm going to pick up where it left off.
At that point, I was really in need of a pick-me-up, so I broke into my Honold chocolates and started with the absinthe-filled chocolate bean. Ahh, absinthe...what an enticing name, what a disgusting flavor (unless you relish the taste of black licorice, which I absolutely despise). As you can imagine, that didn't really improve my mood. But the mocha chocolate that I chose next made me feel much better. If you know me at all, this won't come as a surprise...you know what miracles chocolate and coffee can work on my mood.
When I made it back to Schwerzenbach a little later, I was already looking at the bright side of my mishap--if nothing else, it's a funny story for you people to read--but I still appreciated the sympathy that my friends offered. I also appreciated the cheesy deliciousness that was dinner. No, not fondue...raclette! It's a very Swiss meal; it's basically reverse fondue. You heat up the cheese until it's all melty and gooey and wonderful, and then scrape it onto whatever you have on your plate (in our case, that was roasted broccoli and potatoes, bread, and bacon). Helloooo, new favorite food!
I capped off my evening by finally eating those four Luxemburgerli that I'd been thinking about all day. I'd been tempted to crack them open earlier, but I was glad that I saved them for the very end of the day. I had sweet dreams of Swiss junk food that night. (Yes, that pun was intended, and no, I will not apologize for it.)
On Tuesday, I was ready to turn over a new leaf in Switzerland. Based on my friends' recommendation, I had a day trip planned to Fribourg/Freiburg and to Bern, and I was hoping these cities would be kinder to me than Zurich had been the day before. I validated my public-transit day pass and hopped on a train to Fribourg/Freiburg.
Why the two spellings? Great question! I'm glad you asked...
Switzerland has four official languages: German (very different from the German that they speak in Germany), French (very different from the French that they speak in France), Italian (very different from the Italian that they speak in Italy), and Romansh (very different from the Latin that it started out as). Fribourg/Freiburg is located right where the German-speaking and French-speaking parts of Switzerland meet. Of course, I didn't realize this until I got there and the announcement on the train played in French, then German, then English. I thought I'd gotten on the wrong train for a minute.
Fribourg/Freiburg has a very old Old Town. Most of the houses in that part of town have been there since the Middle Ages. I had a great time just roaming along the lanes that went up and down the hills, back and forth across the river, and along the crumbling city wall. I spent the whole morning there, doing nothing in particular but wandering and taking pictures and acquiring an embarrassing damp patch on my jeans from sitting on a bench that I had failed to notice was wet.
As I explored the streets of Bern, the clouds rolled in, and I took cover in a café, where I enjoyed a cappucino and some sort of chocolate cake with Bailey's in it while I waited for the rain to relent. The clouds stuck around, but the rain was barely a drizzle when I headed out to the Rose Gardens, where my favorite pastime--a free walking tour--was scheduled to begin at 5:00. I got there early, but almost missed the start of the tour when I got caught up with smelling the last of the blooms.
I was glad I didn't miss the tour, because I learned a lot of fun facts abour Bern on the tour, including:
--According to local lore, Bern is named for bears, apparently the first animal that the founder of the city encountered on a hunt when he arrived in the area. Bears have been kept in capitvity in the city since shortly after its founding in the 12th century (though their habitats have become far more humane since then).
--Swiss street signs are usually blue, but in Bern, each district has its own color street signs, including green, yellow, and red, as well as blue. Apparently, when Napoleon took over the city at the end of the 18th century, his troops took advantage of the city's substantial wine stores. The drunken soldiers (understandably) had some trouble finding their way home at night, so the colors of the street signs were changed to make it easier for the soldiers to navigate.
--A major step towards modern chocolate was made in Bern in 1879, when Rudolphe Lindt accidentally left his chocolate mixer running overnight. In the morning, he discovered that the constant mixing of the chocolate for extended periods made it incredibly smooth (up until that time, chocolate had a very gritty, rather unappealing texture). Bam! Chocolate became delicious.
--Speaking of chocolate, you probably knew that Toblerone is Swiss chocolate. You may have even made the connection between the iconic mountain logo and the Matterhorn, Switzerland's most famous Alp. But what you may not have noticed is that, within that mountain logo, there is also the image of a bear. That's because when Theodor Tobler invented Toblerone in 1908, he was very proud to do so in Bern, the city of the bear.
 |
| Da bears. |
All in all, by the time I got back, I was feeling pretty good about my mishap-free day, and was super pumped to get to the Alps on Wednesday.
Of course, my optimistic outlook was toast when Swiss Mishap #2 struck. I'll wait while you read that one.
All caught up? Good.
The Alps. Oh my Lanta. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so, here, have a few thousand words:
 |
| Eigen, Mönch, and Jungfrau in the background. |
The mountain that I went up was called Schilthorn, and it took quite an elaborate series of trains, cable cars, and funiculars to get there. My journey took me through Mürren, one of the most adorable Alpine towns you can imagine.
There's also a thrill walk:
 |
| I took a picture of the kid in front of me on this one so my phone could stay safely in my pocket while I did it. |
 |
| I didn't go on this one. I was afraid that my sweaty hands would stick to the metal and I'd be stuck out there. |
Just several thousand feet above the ground, with only some chain-link or Plexi-glass between me and plummeting to my death. You know. Casual.
On my way back down, I stopped in Mürren for a cappucino and some apfelstrudel, with a side of the Alps.
By the time I'd made my way back to my friends' house that evening, I'd forgotten the mishaps of the morning, and was still feeling in awe of the Alps. I was also feeling a little sunburned, since I hadn't even thought about applying sunscreen that day (never underestimate that glare off the snow).
My friends then introduced me to another Swiss food: meringues, dipped in unsweetened whipped cream. Sounds kind of weird, but I've been hit with a hardcore craving for it several times since. Yum.
A pretty dang fantastic day, I think, even with the morning's misadventure.
The next day began with an exciting morning of...laundry. That's what happens when you travel for a month, and your wardrobe is limited to what fits in your backpack.
Once my clothes were clean, I packed them into my backpack and set off for the train station. I still had one more night in Zurich, but I had to switch to a hostel for the evening, because my hosts were headed to Madrid for a long weekend!
Of course, my last full day in Switzerland wouldn't be complete without another mishap.
Once I had sufficiently recovered from that one, with a little help from a cappucino and a chocolate lava cake at a riverside café, I checked into my hostel, which was up four flights of stairs from the street level, and above not one, but two restaurants' kitchens. I settled in to the rather cozy (that's the nice way of saying "too small to turn around in without bumping into someone or something") but comfortable room, then hopped on yet another train to check out the waterfall in Neuhausen. My hosts had suggested it, with the caveat that, if I'd seen Niagara Falls, I wouldn't be impressed. I haven't, but I did see the Gulfoss waterfall when I was in Iceland, so I wasn't blown away by this particular waterfall. But I somehow managed to enjoy hiking around it anyway.
Spoiler alert: against all odds, my departure from Switzerland the next day went smoothly.
On my way to the train station, I caught sight of this guy. Well, I heard him first, obviously.
Not exactly sure why he was playing an Alphorn in the middle of the city at 9:00AM, but it made me smile on my morning walk to the Hauptbahnhof, regardless.
In the train station, I found that I had some time to kill before my train. So I stopped into Sprüngli to spend my last 5 Francs. There, I picked out four more Luxemburgerli to eat on the train. I wanted my last taste of Switzerland to be sweet.
Glad it sounds like you're enjoying yourself, Jess! Appreciate your tone and humor in your blog. The food looks and sounds delicious and the cultural differences are neat to analyze. Keep savoring the moment and have fun with this traveling experience.
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